the shift

when your weakest moments
are followed by moments of greatness.
the feeling of overcoming something.
on a step toward recovery;
recovering from something.

It’s a strange feeling, to wake up in the middle of the night,
in a terror
grateful to feel yourself sobbing. that means you’re still alive.

There always seems to  be a few moments – post crisis- where I feel myself get lifted up.
I really try to hold on to those few fleeting moments, when I realize that
I left all of my sadness and self defeating-self loathing-self pitying thoughts
in those tears that dripped out of my eyes
and in the snot that hopefully made it somewhere other than my pillow…
these are the moments that are driving me to design my own success.

tonight, this is why I’m writing,

because after I was done feeling sorry for myself, I realized.

Fuck. This. Shit.

I’m brilliant.

Obviously not a genius, but I have taught myself how to learn, which proves to me that I can learn anything. And also proves that anyone can learn-

 learn how to learn

I’m lovable.

I’m not a perfect lover, or a perfect friend. But. there are people who want to be my lover, and people who want to be my friend

I’m kind.

I love people, and I like to share. And I try to be nice to people, mostly people who need people to be nice to them.

Everyone has a few things they aren’t so great at, and things that make them feel inferior, or not as qualified or as talented as another person, and sometimes this is true, we can’t all be just ridiculously talented.

Though some people have less power, none of us are powerless

embrace that.